HOW TO ASK SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE. AKA, HOW TO DO THE DIRTY DEED.
IN CASE YOU NEVER GOT THE MEMO.
People often say things like, “I was married. Now, I’m divorced & single and don’t know how to date.”
Not! We all really know what to do & how we expect to be treated. Use your big head. Don’t make excuses for yourself or your date. Kids know how to plan for a date: they know how to pick up the phone, call someone they like, & invite them out on a date.
Take a moment & make a plan for 2 to 3 days in advance. Like meeting for drinks at a nice wine bar. Beforehand, read our deal breakers and dating advice.
practice makes perfect!
Practice/roll-play with a friend. Or, record yourself using the voice memo feature on your smartphone. Play it back and listen. If it sounds stilted, keep practicing. If you blow it, take a mulligan.
You may be surprised at how you sound. If your voice is too high pitched, breathe from your abdomen, not your shoulders. Rerecord. Bradley Cooper rehearses his craft.
Pick up the phone & cut to the chase
Take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Pick up the phone. Don't request dates via texting. In this scene, George is calling Angelina. Introduce yourself & ask if this is a good time to speak.
"Hi! This is George. Is this a good time to talk?" If she is free, make a little small talk.
"How is your day going?" Listen to what she says. Use good manners, be polite & pay attention.
Then, gently, cut to the chase. Say, for example: "I was wondering if you might be available this Thursday to meet for a glass of wine?" If you don't drink alcohol, order mineral water.
If Angelina is busy, ask "When would be a better date & time to meet?"
When hell freezes over?
If she's rude & says something like, "When hell freezes over!" and blows you off, just be nice. Take the high road and say, "No worries. Take care." Hang up the phone. Drop it & move on.
If Thursday works, set a specific time and place to meet. For instance, "Great! Let's meet at The Wine Bar in Palo Alto on Ramona Street at 7pm." Be specific, so that there is no miscommunication.
pre-plan & be prepared with a backup strategy
If she says, "I broke up with my last bf, Brad, there..." you could say "Angelina, then that's a perfect place to get back on the horse!"
Better yet say, "Where would you prefer to meet, Angelina?" If she says, "I can't think of anything." Suggest a backup plan. "Let's meet at The Cask on Laurel in San Carlos at 7."
OMG! I got vm! WTF do I say now?
What if you get voice mail? Don't freak out. Relax and leave a nice message. Say "Hi! This is George. We were introduced through PreQualified Mates." Explain how you know her. A lot of people are busy & meet many people. She may not recall who you are or how you know each other.
Then, say why you called. ie, "I was wondering if you would like to meet for a glass of wine this Thursday? Please call me back at (your phone number) to let me know if that works and we will finalize the details. Hope to hear from you soon!"