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To Do & What Not To Do in Dating. That is the Question. If it was only that easy. Where is Shakespeare when you need him? This is the official blog of PreQualified Mates, PreQM.



The Best New Years Resolutions for 2019 that You Can Keep...

WTF is a New Years Resolution, anyway?

I never really made New Years Resolutions. Sometimes, it was an after thought. Oh, yeah, it’s a new year. Hmmmm. Better come up with something. It was always the same thing. That I wanted to lose weight. When I was single, I probably wished for love. Like blowing out birthday candles.

I’ve been watching my steps somewhat obsessively for several years. One parent on my daughter’s competitive volleyball team got all the parents watching our steps. It happened at a tournament at San Francisco State University. We’d been sitting in the stands cheering. She got all the parents off of our asses.

I’ve pretty much a stepping fiend ever since. I’d been averaging 10K-11.5K steps a day. More or less over the past few years. Not bad, but nothing to write home about, either.

Heading into 2017, I wanted to increase my steps. It didn’t work. Still achieved the same results. Quel disappointing.

Last New Years Eve, we got absolutely hammered in Reno with my husband’s best friends. I grimace thinking about it. They said that I “over trained.” Indeed.

I don’t know if that was the reason or exactly what happened. I reflected on the days in the past few years where I had crushed it in steps (20 & even 30K steps). Those were some of the best days. The first time my daughter & I checked out Cal Poly. We were staring incredulously at each other, both thinking like “Where are we? God’s Country?” The days in Oxford & Rome where my sister & I hoofed it. Memorable days. ❤️Maybe it’s the endorphins that kick in, too. The feeling of accomplishment.

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But. I made a resolution in 2018. I publicly threw out the gauntlet. I said I was going to try to walk 20,000 steps a day. 20K steps was really more of a metaphor. I posted it on FB. I texted a bunch of people. I asked them to “join my challenge.” lol. Most of my friends pretty much told me to fuck off. Actually, I was pretty surprised by their negative and unsupportive responses.

Except for the athletes. They said stuff like, “That’s great!” I mentioned it to Pros & Trainers at my gym. They were all so nice & encouraging about it. I’d run into the squash pro & he’d ask me, “How many steps have you done today?” I’d respond with the truth. “18K” or whatever the figure was. He’d say, “Now, get upstairs (where the ellipticals are). You only have 2K more to go!” Then, I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I probably did. lol. And, then, I’d usually go back upstairs and walk some more.

One friend said she only walks 7K steps, on a good day. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a metaphor. Pick a # that works for you. 8500? 10K?” Crickets. Ironically, she’s now doing 20K regularly, and working out with a trainer. You go, girl! 

I have a few other friends that have jumped on the band wagon. It’s become a little movement. One guy is. He got his gf doing it, too. Yea! In August, My daughter walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain. 20+ miles a day. Damn.

Get your body moving. Free Vitamin D. Use sunblock. Wear out your walking shoes. Bentley, my dog is happy. In her Forbes article, Why Sunlight Is Actually Good For You, Noma Nazish, writes “…sunlight exposure helps improve your mood and focus by boosting the serotonin levels in your body…the 'happiness hormone', it makes you calm and alert.”

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It’s probably time to fess up and see where I landed. I’m a little scared to look. I’m guessing I averaged 14.5/day for the year. Shortfall, but up 30% YOY. I’ll set a new target for 2019. Perhaps, 21K.

In all candor, I have an injury. I didn’t post this on fb. I just figured I was going to be grounded by around day 8, or so. In pain. Sitting on ice. But, it’s been the reverse. My injury has been so much better. I spoke to my doctors about it. Now, they are like, “Yeah, it makes sense.” I’m like, “Now, you tell me?” My sister’s trainer said it’s better because I’ve lost weight. Oh, yeah. That happened, too. The one year it wasn’t even my resolution. Yippee!

Think you want to fall in love & meet your soulmate?


Are you single?
Is your resolution to try to meet someone?
Wanna fall in love? Meet your soulmate?
To get into a relationship? 

I met with a really nice guy last week about joining my dating service. Smart ✅ well educated ✅ attractive ✅appropriately dressed ✅athletic ✅ successful ✅accomplished ✅. Sounds like the mother-lode. 50. Never married. No kids.

I asked him about past relationships. He tells me about someone he dated for 6 weeks. I’m thinking, sorry, dude, that doesn’t even count.

I really liked him.

I looked him directly in the eye and said, “If what you are doing is working for you, then keep doing what you are doing.”
He looked me right in the eyes and said, “Clearly, what I am doing isn’t working for me.” And, then, he looked away. 

That said, try something different. This isn’t a sales pitch. You don’t have to join my dating site, PreQualified Mates (although, that would be nice 😊!).

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Do different things.
Do what you like to do.
Do what you want to do.
Go where you want to go.
But, go. Get out there. Do it. Do something. Get moving.
As my husband says, “This isn’t a dress rehearsal.

I was texting for a 20 something gal on Christmas Eve. She hired me to do it for her. She’s cute, fun, bright, fit, and tall. But, there she goes again. Straight to sexting. She says she wants a bf. She wants to get married. She likes this guy. They’ve gone out 3-4 times. No sex yet. Good girl. lol.

The guy was asking her to come over in an elf suit. I’ll bet he had something in his stocking for her. OK. I’ll own it. I provoked that one.

It’s not easy calming that down. By the time I finished with him, though, I think he’s taking her engagement ring shopping. We have the screen shots for proof. 

Do you think you know what you are doing in love? Is it working?

Here’s a resolution for you. It’s free, too. Ask each of your friends to set up you with one person in 2019. And, as long as they are a seemingly decent person, go. Just cause your friend tees up the introduction unfortunately does not mean that person is all good. You can try to background check them in advance, but just get the fuck out there and go. It may not be 20,000 steps. It’s baby steps. But, it may get you there in the long run.

Create your resolutions. Make ‘em happen. Have a Happy & Healthy New Year!

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