Pre-Qualified Mates
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Official PreQM Blog

To Do & What Not To Do in Dating. That is the Question. If it was only that easy. Where is Shakespeare when you need him? This is the official blog of PreQualified Mates, PreQM.

 

 

Is there any truth in a pickup line?

Is it a pickup line? Do lines actually work? A line is not necessarily the opening line or first thing that flies out of your mouth.

Is there any truth in them? We believe there's some. Occasionally, just a touch, but other times, a ton.

You better have some game if you are going to use one. And, if you don’t know what it means, you probably don’t have any.[1]

Ke$ha sung it well in Sleazy. “Sick of all your lines, so cheesy...” “I don’t mean to critique on your seduction technique…

Open Ended Questions are the Most Successful

I was at a notorious bar with a gf where I was being monopolized by some guy. I noticed this other guy staring at me. He finagled his way over to speak to me and kind of pushed the other guy out of the way. He bought me another drink which I really didn’t need or want. We started chatting. I was vaguely paying attention. He’s like, come over here & eat dinner with me. I hadn’t eaten much that day. I was kinda hemming & hawing and he put on a commanding voice, so I followed him & we ordered a bite. I had very little recall about the convo. Until, he laid this line on me. I nearly fell off the chair. It was a high bar stool. And it was a long way down.

He asks me, “If you had one wish, what would it be?” I’m like, huh? I’m trying to think of something so say. What is this? A job interview?

I decided to spin it around on him said, “You asked the question. What would your wish be?” He said, “To wake up tomorrow morning with you in my arms.” After that, he had my attention. Although his wish didn’t come true the very next morning, ultimately, he did score.

There are lines. And there are lines.

But, what’s unique about this one, is that it was an open-ended question. Not a yes/no response.

You need some self-esteem to lay a line on someone. From our experience, questionnaires & feedback, they can work to capture someone’s attention.

Hitting on the Hottest Person in the Room?

Unless you radiate self-confidence, you probably shouldn’t dash up to the hottest person in the place & say, “Do you come here often?

Check out the clip from Pride & Prejudice starring Keira Knightly, when her dorky distant cousin busts in to Mr. Darcy’s convo.

The cousin is hell-bent, on a mission to meet Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy, the most dashing, sophisticated man, is with a group, engaged in a discussion. The cousin thoroughly bombs.

The ultimate Hail Mary reach: Will you marry me?

After I graduated from Berkeley, I moved back home with my parents. I thought it was going to blow, but, in actuality, it was great. I could have been one of those 30 YOs living in my parent’s basement! It was me & my parents. I hardly ever saw them. They liked having me around for some reason. All of my sibs were gone. And the price was right!

My gf met some guy. She fixed me up with his friend the next night as a double date. She called them “the two guys from Czechoslovakia,” but, I think they were from somewhere like Brooklyn, which may as well have been from Czechoslovakia, for us Californians! Anyway, the guys picked me up. Our home is in a desirable neighborhood.

I had the adjusted the interior mood lighting for effect. The doorbell rang. I opened the door & my blind date was standing there with his eyes open wide. He said, “Do you live here (pregnant pause) alone???” with a look of incredulity. I said, “No, I keep my parents locked up in the kitchen.” And practically on queue, a plate crashed, 25 feet away.

My blind date was surprisingly cute. We went dancing in the City & they drove me back down to the burbs at the end of the evening. I kissed him in my parent’s six-car garage, which frankly, was the one & only time I ever did that. He says, “Will you marry me?” I think I looked at him and we both cracked up.

That may have been the first time some guy asked me to marry him. I don’t really remember, cause it’s happened a bunch. But, I always wondered. What if I’d said, “Yes!” He probably would have run for the hills!

The Killer Tip to Improve your Game is Hidden in the Blog!

How much truth is there in a line?

I discussed this with a psychologist. She agrees that there is some degree of sincerity in “a line.”

After my divorce, I was contacted by a guy who looked like George Clooney. Are you kidding? I was fucking meeting that guy, even though he lived in LA & I lived in the Bay Area. I made him come up to meet me & being the safety girl that I am, he stayed in a hotel.

We kinda connected. Another shocker. He invited me down to LA to hear his piano teacher’s performance somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. I still wasn’t going to stay with this guy, yet, no matter how cute I thought he was.

I booked a room at the Marriott Woodland Hills. I’ve stayed there several times & like that property. “Clooney” told me to dress conservatively, so I wore my power suit. The deal slayer. I always got the order or job offer whenever I wore that suit. It’s black. Italian. Nice. I wore it well.

He came up to my room. I opened the door. He said, “If you lived in LA, I’d marry you!” OK. I didn’t live in LA. I don’t live in LA. I did live in LA when I went to UCLA, but that’s it.

Would he have said it if I lived in LA? I doubt it. Did it mean anything? Well, I think he was pleasantly surprised at how I presented myself. He liked me. I guess the line worked that night because we got lucky.

An honest compliment is a pretty good place to start. If someone catches your eye & you want to initiate conversation, be sincere.

Are you a Material Girl? I like your Rolex

If you are going to compliment something material, it better be authentic, because you may come off as very superficial. ie if you remark, “I like your Chanel bag,” you may appear materialistic.

Better, if the person is wearing a really unique watch, you could say, “Wow, that is a really interesting watch. What’s the back story on it?

My friend, Bill, is tall, fit, successful, intelligent & handsome. He tells me that he scores 50% of the time when he uses a line which makes them laugh. He says he “gets at least to first base.”  You go, Bill! lol

Kate & Kent went on a blind date. Kate tells Kent “I want to go to Reykjavik with my gf to see the Northern Lights. You sound like a good researcher. Can you figure out where we should stay?” Kent says, “Maybe I will meet you there!” We think that was a ballsy & great response. Kent was definitely interested in Kate.

Is this a bullshit line about being single?

Whether you are single, separated or divorced, pay attention if you ask someone their marital status. You can always make & maintain direct eye contact and ask, “Are you married?

I was sitting at the bar at our club next to my husband, Jeff, and my friend, Liz. Liz is divorced & Jeff & I are remarried. My gf, Mary, saddles up next to Liz. Mary is very attractive, single & never married. This guy scoots up & sits next to Mary. I noticed him out of the corner of my eye & laughed because he’s exactly Mary’s type in the looks department. A very handsome hunk.

We all heard Mary ask him, “Are you single?” And, he said, “Well, um, I’m kind of, uh, sep-a-ra-ted.” He really enunciated it. Jeff, Liz & I all simultaneously fell out laughing. Yes, he was probably separated that second, for the moment. Jeff, Liz & I were like, Mary, dude, he’s married…

We aren’t judging. At times, these things are complicated. But, listen, think & pay attention. Consider your values. Spend a couple of bucks & run a background check online. Here's one, for convenience. Take another moment online to check out the County records, as their data may vary. The background report may not mention marriages or divorces (or even other titillating things), but you may see them on the County websites. Ya never know, but it’s good to know. Also, just because someone may have some sort of litigation recorded with the County, it does not necessarily mean that they are not a quality person. It also may be irrelevant.

Does “Hello” work? Sure did for Jerry (Tom Cruise) in Jerry McGuire when Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellweger) says to “You had me at ‘hello.’

KILLER TIP

Here’s a killer tip, especially if you are shy, lacking in game, or self-confidence. Say, you’re at a bar & there’s someone you’d like to meet. Want to make it easier on yourself? Perhaps, improve your odds? Give the bartender a generous tip, like $20, and ask them to go over to the person and point you out. Tell the bartender to identify you and say, “That person would like to buy you a drink. What would you like?” If the person has any class, they will call you over to thank you. Then, it’s up to you.

[1] “Game” has been a colloquial expression in American slang, dating back at least to the Disney movie “He Got Game” in 1998 starring Denzel Washington.