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Official PreQM Blog

To Do & What Not To Do in Dating. That is the Question. If it was only that easy. Where is Shakespeare when you need him? This is the official blog of PreQualified Mates, PreQM.



The Best Places to Meet Women? Think Out of the Box...

Is Bar Hopping the only place IRL to meet interesting women? We think not. But, we cover that, too...

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Downward Facing Dog: Say What?

Increase Your Flexibility with Yoga & Well-Being with Reiki with enlightened women & minimal competition...

Both my husband & my mentor suggested workout classes, yoga, Pilates, SoulCycle & Peloton as awesome places to meet women. Try a Yoga or Reiki retreat. The odds are great and goods are not always odd, like the rest of Silicon Valley.

WTF is an Acai (ah-sigh-eee) Bowl?

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Have an acai Bowl at lunch. Yummy! Google Acai places in your area. Go to a place like Bare Bowls. Arrive around noon. It should be brimming with women. Many women eat acai bowls every single day and often are there, working, studying, or hanging out for hours. We’ve seen one of the female stars from The Hunger Games eating an acai bowl. A regular. And a male member of the US Olympic Team. Very cool.

The bowls usually have fun, wild names. If you notice someone appealing, here are a few perfect questions to ask:

  • That looks good. What is it?

  • Which one is your favorite?

  • What is in it?

They will likely know all of the ingredients, many of which may stump you. Ask them what they are and what the ingredients do. Believe me, it can be a daunting order.

You can always ask them to order for you. That’s what I do because I get mystified. Offer to treat. And, don’t be shocked at the price. The ingredients can be expensive.

Is the Rosewood still happening? Are cougar's on the prowl?

Much has been written about the legendary Rosewood on Thursday nights. I’ll chime in a bit. For starters, I’m married and not available for dating. That said, I have met potential clients at Rosewood on Thursday’s. They chose to meet there. I mean, really? I’ve also wing-manned it with clients.

That's me. Unretouched & overexposed. May 2018.

That's me. Unretouched & overexposed. May 2018.

Cougar night? Honestly, the Cougar concept is galling. Men have pursued younger women forever, but on the rare occasion that the reverse occurs, Madison Avenue coins a term & Hollywood creates a TV series about it.

People are often quite shocked at my age (thank god!); last week, a 47 YO man [PhD, UChicago, no less) thought I was 35 (loved that!). I have been hit on at the Rosewood by a 23 YO & a 30 YO, but also by very good looking, fit & successful men in their early 50s. Where were they when I was single? JK. I try to pawn them off on my clients or get them to look at my dating site, with varying degrees of success.

My .02: Rosewood is like most popular bars with the quasi “cool people” in a stunning setting. Just super slamming especially when the weather is nice. The vibe after 10 pm seems to palpably change when the sex-crazed seem to be on the move to strike for hookups, again, like virtually every other bar on the planet. This isn’t a revelation; people on the make often don’t want to go home solo.

If you go, dress appropriately, familiarize yourself with the history, and proceed at your own risk. There’s a considerable amount of designer attire on display (lots of Gucci/Bucci/Pucci, as I like to say), particularly for Northern California, including major cars in the valet. Send drinks over to people that are of interest to you. Be generous. Tip the bartender well. They may be your best matchmaker.

Often, the crowd is peppered with good, well healed, intelligent, & interesting people. I actually feel very fortunate to have made a number of good friends with people I’ve met at the Rosewood.

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Festivals: Meet Loving, Open, Happy People

I recently spoke about love, dating & relationships at a festival in Palo Robles. Festivals are often excellent venues to meet friendly, happy, single people. This one was mostly early 20-somethings.

The guys asked surprising questions. Deep, thoughtful, painful, heart wrenching, astonishing. I was stunned, although, I responded with honest, helpful info, much of which is on my website, PreQualified Mates, which has been vetted by multiple psychologists.

Afterward, I spoke at length with an adorable 20 YO guy, who ultimately asked if I had any condoms on me. I don’t think he meant to use with me. lol. I think he had not packed properly for the festival. I sure hope they had Medical!

Get Metro, Dude! Get a Mani-Pedi!...

Go to the large mani-pedi salons and get one. Polish is optional. Finding women in a salon is like fishing in a barrel. The women in your life will appreciate it, too. As Martha Stewart would say, clean nails and groomed cuticles are “a good thing.”

Here’s a concept: if you see someone who catches your eye, offer to treat; send them over a mani-pedi! That’s a badass move.

Not working for you? Here's a dozen more opportunities!

Here are a list more places to explore...

  • Book Clubs

  • Volunteering

  • Gyms – Many people join gyms with the hope of meeting people. Yet, most people never meet anyone to date at the gym based on the surveys we’ve run through PreQM on this topic. The best place in the gym for women to meet men is in the weight room. If you want to meet women, try the most popular high impact aerobics, Pilates or yoga classes.

  • Mixed Doubles Tennis Leagues - Duh! I was just chatting last night after the Warriors game with one of my daughter's former tennis coaches, Steve Miller, tennis Pro at the Bay Club. Love Steve! He suggested it. Perfect! And, a blast!

  • Take Dance Classes – Salsa, Tango, Ballroom, Hip Hop. Try Arthur Murray. So much fun and it’s always a great skill. Do you feel a twirl coming on?

  • Cooking Classes – Check online. Sur la Table is a good one.

  • Enroll in an Art class

  • Join a Mother’s Club if you have a child. Imagine the odds.

  • Blogging Groups – From my experience, they’re nearly all women. If you go, have a prospective topic in mind that you might want to blog about, so that you don’t look like a complete poser.

  • Beauty Events Days at High End Department Stores – Go the first weekend day. It’s teeming with women. You can always ask women for their opinion on fragrances they like on men. You may get an earful. And, emerge smelling like a rose.

  • Laundromat. Don’t laugh.

  • Divorce Recovery Groups at Churches – There’s a local one where everyone is supposed to be born-again, but, from what I’ve heard, it sure sounds like everyone is banging each other. So much for celibacy. I know of a marriage through one of those groups. Guess they’ve recovered.

Wait? Are you married?

Like me, not everyone is single. Ask them. There’s no harm; it’s innocent. Simply look them in the eye, smile and ask “Are you married?” If they are married, you can still chat. They may have a single friend for you. If they evade the question, it certainly is a sign that they are not direct.

Not everyone wears their ring. And believe me, the rings don’t necessarily stop them. Try wearing an ‪💍 and see how many people hit on you.

Be Safe: No Glove, No Love

Please, people - grow up. No glove, no love.

According to the CDCSexually Transmitted Diseases Reach an All-Time High in California. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, & syphilis are up 45% since 2012. Just gross and entirely unnecessary. Plus, there’s the real risk of the unplanned pregnancy.

Maybe scouting has gone by the wayside. Whatever happened to the adage “always be prepared?”

I’m going out on a limb here, but at this point, every sexually active man or woman should carry protection with them at all times.


We have saved some of the best places in the vault for our clients. : )

As I like to say, call me. ~.~