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Official PreQM Blog

To Do & What Not To Do in Dating. That is the Question. If it was only that easy. Where is Shakespeare when you need him? This is the official blog of PreQualified Mates, PreQM.



The Best Ways to Get a Valentine ❤️

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Here are the top ways to get a Valentine.

You may end up with a lot of possibilities. 🤞🏻

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#2: The 2nd best way to get one.

Send Valentine’s Day Cards in advance - in the mail or delivered by hand. It’s a cool touch. Quasi-unique & special. You can make one, if you are creative, green or artistic. Scroll down for my rock, paper, scissor example. 😊

Papyrus makes gorgeous Valentine’s. Yeah, they are pricey. But, what’s ❤️worth to you? If an $8 card gets you a relationship, it may be the best eight bucks ever spent. Another option is to buy a bag of them from the drugstore. With boxes of Brachs sweethearts. Go old school. Like Fruitcake, no one really eats them.

Better yet, include a small box of fine chocolate, like this one from Godiva. You can hand out a bunch of boxes of them and possibly improve your odds. Be discrete about who you give what to, so as not to offend. If you pass them out to a group, give a box or a piece to everyone. Be metro. Give them to men & women. It’s a great way to mend fences. Smile. Bat those lashes.

What To Do & What Not To Do with Valentine's Day Cards

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✅Don’t go overboard on the card.
✅Don’t tell a stranger that you are in love with them.
✅Don’t write about sexual things that you’d like to do with them.
✅Don’t come on too strong.
✅Don’t assume you’re the only person who could possibly be sending one. I’m not talking about Valentine’s from friends & family, either. I’m talking about romantic admirers. Some people have more than one. Put it this way. If you want them to be your Valentine, you may have company. Don’t be discouraged. Yours might be the one they want.

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👌🏻You can draw a heart.
👌🏻You can seal the card with a kiss. 💋Practice on a blank sheet of paper or a paper towel first. Get your lips just right. No more than one kiss. If you screw it up, buy another envelope, and try again.

👍🏻Be nice.
👍🏻Be sincere.
👍🏻Be sweet.
👍🏻Be concise.
👍🏻Sign your name and include your contact info for convenience. Don’t assume they have it at hand.

#1: The best way to get a Valentine. Ask for one.
BTW, this is the best way to ask for a business meeting, too.

Do you know how? You’d be amazed how many people blow it. I’ve been a sales director for years. Ask your staff. Have them individually call you on the phone & ask you for a meeting for a product, service or solution you are selling. You may literally cringe. OMG. Often it’s like, “Uh, be-de-dub-de duh” You may be thinking, “What the heck are they saying?!” It frequently explains a lot.

Time to get back on the horse. Giggyup. We often hear really silly excuses like, “I was married. Now, I’m divorced & single and don’t know how to date.” We call BS. We all really know what to do & how we expect to be treated. Use your big head. Don’t make excuses for yourself or your date.

Want a date? Here's how to get one!

This is the precise way to ask someone out on a date. Take a moment & make a plan for a few days in advance. Like meeting for drinks at a nice wine bar. Check online to make sure the place is open or if they are doing something special that evening. Or, if you need a reservation.

OMG! I got VM! WTF Do I Say Now?

What if you get voice mail? Don't freak out. Relax and leave a nice message. Say "Hi! This is Bradley. We were introduced through (say how you met) PreQualified Mates.Then, say why you called. ie, "I was wondering if you would like to meet for a glass of wine this Thursday. Please call me back at (your phone number) to let me know and we will finalize the details. Hope to hear from you soon!"

Do not send this text. It’s a complete fail.
“Hi. Want to meet up?”
And don’t ask for a date via

Practice Makes Perfect. Practice/roll-play with a friend. Record yourself on your smartphone. Play it back and listen. Really. You may be surprised how you sound. If it sounds bad, keep practicing. When we’re nervous, we often speak from our shoulders. Breathe from your abs; it may lower your pitch. Put your hand on your abs and take a deep breath. If you can’t feel it in your abs, you’re probably still breathing from your shoulders. Undoubtably, Bradley Cooper rehearses his craft.

Pick up the Phone & Cut to the Chase

No matter how tempting…don’t send a picture of your six pack.

No matter how tempting…don’t send a picture of your six pack.

Take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Pick up the phone. Smile. Brad’s calling Jennifer. Introduce yourself. Ask if this is a good time to speak. "Hi! This is Brad. Is this a good time to talk?"

She may not recall who you are or how you know each other. Don’t be offended if she draws a blank. Explain how you know her. A lot of people are busy & meet many people. In that case, say, “Would you be more comfortable if I sent you a picture?” If she says yes, send her ONE current photo of your actual likeness. Not majorly retouched. Not a dick pick. Not shirtless, no matter how buff you are. No firearms, dead fish or bathroom selfies. You already know what she looks like, so don’t ask her to send you anything. DO NOT get into a photo sharing scenario. If that’s what you want, go buy a fashion magazine.

If she’s free, make a little small talk. "How is your day going?" Use good manners & pay attention. Keep it short. Then, politely, cut to the chase. Say, for example: "I was wondering if you might be available Thursday, February 14th, to meet for a glass of wine?" If you don't drink alcohol, order mineral water.

If Jen is busy, don’t say, “OK” and hang up the phone. Ask "When would be a better date & time to meet, Jenny?"

When hell freezes over…

If she's rude & says something like, "When hell freezes over!" or blows you off, just be nice. Take the high road and say, "No worries. Take care." Hang up the phone. Don’t continue to pursue her. Drop it & move on.

If Thursday works, set a specific time and place to meet. Say, "Great! Let's meet at The Wine Bar in Palo Alto on Ramona Street at 7pm." Be specific, so that there is no miscommunication.

If it’s a first date with someone you are meeting via an app, online or a dating service, suggest meeting at the venue. If you know this person IRL, offer to pick them up at their home.

Pre-Plan & Be Prepared with a Backup Strategy

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If she says, "That’s where I broke up with my last bf..." you could say "Where would you prefer to meet, Jen?" If she says, "I can't think of anything." Suggest a backup plan. "Let's meet at The Cask on Laurel in San Carlos at 7."

What people really want on Valentine's Day


We recently ran a survey about Valentine’s. Some of the results are pretty dramatic. 49% of the responses were from women & 51% were from men. Here are some of the interesting data.

What gift do you want for Valentine’s?

What gift do you want for Valentine’s?

If a magic genie granted you whatever Valentine's gift you would desire, what would it be? The overwhelming response (40%) said a Lover, simply followed by a Date (23%).

58% think Valentine's is a "Hallmark Holiday,” manufactured by retailers.

The emotions our respondents experience from our Valentine’s survey

The emotions our respondents experience from our Valentine’s survey

What’s the purpose of sending an anonymous Valentine?

57% said they’d received an anonymous Valentine which included a card 67% of the time & a gift nearly ½ of the time (48%)

59% of the respondents who recall receiving anonymous Valentine’s never figured out who sent them. Perhaps, the sender thinks they are being clever. Maybe, you just want to make them feel good - no strings attached. If the recipient can’t figure out who sent it, it’s not the most effective means of communication.

85% of the people who recall receiving anonymous valentines were not freaked out by them. Only 11% stated they were freaked. That said, we know someone who received an anonymous Valentine’s Day gift. Not only was she freaked out, but she was REALLY freaked for months.

We are fans of AJ Harbinger with the Art of Charm. Check out his blog Valentine’s Day Dating Tips. Here’s another one of his relevant blogs, Things to do on Valentine’s Day for Single Guys. Frankly, it’s the same for single women. Keyword: single

Not everyone on the planet celebrates Valentine’s Day. It’s considered a pagan holiday. You can read about it in Lisa Bitel’s article, The ‘Real’ St. Valentine was no patron of love. It’s also banned in a number of countries.

For the most part, it’s evolved in our culture into a non-religious holiday, bringing out a wide range of emotions. If you are in a relationship, it’s best to write a little love note, at the least. But, be respectful of those who don’t celebrate. You can still say something charming, like, “Well, if you did, I’d ask if you would be mine

Don’t be shy.
Be confident.
Be bold.
Be loving.
And Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Do you want to rock it on Valentine’s Day? Get a blow out. Halo Blow Dry Bars says “Dating takes confidence… something that’s at the core of Halo’s mission – giving women style and confidence…Yes, it’s hair and makeup, but we all know it adds up to so much more.” During February, 2019, use code PreQM at booking and receive $7 off a Fabulous Blow Out at Downtown Los Altos, Menlo Park, & Downtown Burlingame or call 800-425-6179. May not be combined with any other offer.